About

The “Semi-Official” Bio:

Alan Gentry is the “Communications and Marketing Manager” (communications guy) for an IT company that focuses on providing technology to the advertising industry. Outside of his “RWJ” (real-world-job) he is an award winning graphic designer and freelance marketing consultant.

Alan occasionally speaks at college campuses, but not as some sort of weird stalker.  He teaches a class called “Worst. Marketing. Ever.” It is about how Information Technology companies screw up their marketing. Anti-social geeks are really (REALLY) bad at promoting their products.

In his spare time, Alan dabbles in video editing, flagging, and being an occasional liberal activist in a highly conservative red state. More recently, Alan is a new cat owner (after being a dog person most of his life).

He resides in possibly the gayest apartment complex in America, located in (of all places) Dallas, Texas.

Alan has degrees in Dramatic Arts and Communications Psychology. Although he loves what he is doing right now, he would drop everything in a second if he were asked to work for the Rachel Maddow Show.

(Seriously! Call me Rachel!)

(I also have a soft spot for David Sharrocks, based only on the above video)

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Where did Tumble Dry come from?

(From a blog post I wrote in 2005)

Friends are constantly making fun of me because I seem to always be doing the laundry.

Of the top 50 things I am looking for in a husband, number 24 or 25 is an ability to do laundry. I am psychologically and behaviorally wired to suck at all housework. I am not looking for June Cleaver, but I do need to find a Mr. Clean.

People without ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), can start the laundry, go about their day, and in 35 minutes switch to the dryer. Go another hour, then fold and put away. They know, in the back of their minds, they are doing laundry.

I have ADD, so I don’t have a “back of my mind.” Thankfully I take medications and have all sorts of behavioral tricks so my ADD is not at too debilitating. In fact, I kind of view it as an asset.

However, starting a load of laundry is like playing a video game. In the beginning I do okay, but at the end there are too many f—ing little asteroids and that tiny bastard space ship comes out of nowhere, and BOOM! The next day (and sometimes 2 days later), I remember there are damp clothes in the washer, which is gross. Game Over, please play again.

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50 Things About Me

  1. I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Not the self-diagnosed, “I’m a little scatter brained, I must have ADD” version. I have been tested, with second and third opinions, off the charts, text-book perfect ADD.
  2. I’m a natural blond. When combined with number 1, it is a load of laughs for my friends.
  3. I take drugs for ADD… and like them a lot.
  4. My current weight  is the heaviest I have ever been. That is a good thing.
  5. I believe in “Love at First Sight.”
  6. I have a near photographic memory for really worthless information.
  7. I forget where my keys are, on average, 3 times a day.
  8. I’m gay
  9. I hate reality television.
  10. I have never watched a full episode, but I would love to be on the Amazing Race.
  11. I have one niece, who is going to be spoiled by her uncle.
  12. I believe in ghosts, but not like some rabid X-Files junkie.
  13. I want to learn how to play the guitar.
  14. I played trombone in high school (band geek).
  15. I have sprained my ankle three times.
  16. The only bone I have broken was my big toe, at the gym, with a 45# weight landing on it. Bad gym karma.
  17. I have had eye surgery 5 times… and not the easy lassik surgery. 4 times as a child and once – on both eyes – as an adult.
  18. I decided to move to Dallas to be closer to someone who I had an internet (email, IM, and Skype) relationship with. It was probably a bad idea, but he is now my best friend.
  19. Not only does a person need to earn my trust, they have to deserve it.
  20. I completely forgot what I was going to type here.
  21. Number 20 is an example of my ADD in action.
  22. I am a dog person, but now live in a house with two cats.
  23. The best job I ever had was working for Apple Computer.
  24. The second-to-worst job I ever had was working for Apple Computer. They don’t pay Apple Geniuses nearly enough. Being an Apple Genius was only slightly better than…
  25. The worst job I ever had… which required me to  take urine samples from convicted felons.
  26. I drink 2 liters of water, or more, a day.
  27. I pee a lot.
  28. I had to grow up to be 39 years old before living in apartment with a dish washer.
  29. My underwear drawer is a hodge podge of all sorts of stuff.
  30. I have never measured my “length or girth.” It looks good to me, people seem to like it, that’s all I care about.
  31. I love to go out dancing.
  32. I do a fierce Kermit the Frog imitation.
  33. Size 10 shoe.
  34. I am on speaking terms with all of my ex boyfriends but one.
  35. I lived in Italy for several months.
  36. Undergrad in the middle of a corn field in Iowa.
  37. My sleep patterns are a little bizarre.
  38. When I lived in Chicago, I could fall asleep on the bus or the “L” and instinctively wake up right before my stop.
  39. I will fall asleep on a plane before it even takes off.
  40. I like Dallas, but don’t like living in a red state. More than occasionally I fear for my safety living in Texas.
  41. I have never dated (long term) anyone who wasn’t at least 3 years older than I am. I am not opposed to dating someone younger, but it just hasn’t worked out that way.
  42. I have never dated anyone taller than me ( 6’1″).
  43. 5 years of undergrad, 2 Bachelor Degrees, and it wasn’t until 3 years ago that I could finally apply it.
  44. Never come out of the closet to your mother in a moving car… trust me.
  45. I love to cook.
  46. I am out of the closet to my entire family.
  47. I can’t flirt to save my life.
  48. I believe you can have more than one soul mate.
  49. People say I am a classic Scorpio.
  50. As a kid, people thought I looked like the child actor in A Christmas Story.

 

 

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