Back when I worked for Apple retail, (a job I loved and hated all at the same time), we had a fear of joke about the “Apple Republican Guard” or “Apple Legal Ninjas.”

They are mythical creatures who can silently drop from an opened ceiling tile, break your neck, and dispose of your body in about 4 seconds. At the same time, your Apple Retail Replacement Clone would be walking out of the back of the store to take over for you.

If you watch this video very carefully, I think you can see one of the Apple Ninjas peeking out from behind the flowers behind Ellen.

TPM has some amazing photos of the final moments of the Deep Water Horizon explosion that started this environmental catastrophe in the gulf.

After nearly a year in Dallas, I am once again preparing to move. I am staying in the city, but moving to a newly built apartment complex in what folks here consider the “gayborhood.” Friends and family who look at the website agree when I say that it is appears an Atlantis gay cruise threw up on the Dallas prairie.

I am nervous and excited all at the same time. This move represents a couple of firsts in my nearly 40 years. It will be my first “large complex” living situation (I don’t count the apartment in Chicago… that was a cave and in four years I can’t tell you the name of a single neighbor). It will be my first apartment to myself with a dishwasher, washer, and dryer. There is also a really nice gym, pool, and the staff is really nice.

In addition to the new construction, new appliances, and new neighborhood, and I will find myself with two very new room mates. I decided to take two of the kittens. I do not take that decision lightly, and I know a couple of family members (mom) are a little surprised.

At first it was going to be just one cat. After a lot of research and a lot of talking to people who own cats, I understand it is actually easier to own two pets because they will keep each other company (although more expensive). I have not decided which of the six kittens I will be taking. It appears we have three sets of twins, and I hate to break up a set. I will also need to come up with names, but need to come up with something that doesn’t make me gag a little when I say it. I am not a big fan of your typical cute and cuddley pet names like Socks, Princess, Fluffy, etc.

I am taking suggestions for names. It will probably be a boy and girl combination. I can start moving in on May 21.